The path I now walk
circles and oscillates
between two lives
I struggle to be a part of
I struggle to define.

Each has merits and fulfillment
each brings me closer to the being
my past and my future conspired to
create, so why do I struggle in
the present?

That life I judge myself against
through others’ reality, pushes
me further away, surfaces raw
emotion and longing for something
I dreamt and something I am losing.

How much more blood, and energy
do I spill in this race against
time and myself before I let go
and move forward?