Where has time gone? While I know time itself does not change, only our perception, I must have been asleep for a few days. It is already May and I have not really written a poem or prose in a couple of weeks. I have spent some time in quiet reflection of my past and certain experiences that have greatly impacted and provided material with which to grow. Any writing from that may end up here or elsewhere, depending on how personal it becomes.
I finally wrote something last evening, and here it is, in bits and pieces, some fragments, with a loose thread tying them together, the stepping stones of a larger journey.
With each rain drop
upon my naked body
and mind with
outstretched arms
in the middle of the
field one more shred
of the previous being
peels away.
How much longer can
the self endure the space
and growing distance to the
true being?
The struggle within intensifies
with each passing day the
debris and clutter build,
compact, become a stronger
barrier, with each passing day.
What will it take to
wake up, spew forth
words and actions –
enough is enough.
The death suffocated
through loss of hope,
of purpose, of connecting
beyond the self, inflicts
greater damage to the spirit
and the psyche, carried
forever, through subsequent
passages of time.
A spiritual death suffocated
each day my whole being
is repressed, stumbling,
aimless, lost, through the
empty field I spent
decades clearing and cultivating
only to become overgrown,
fragments of the anger,
and selfishness spit out
of the wailing person on
their knees,
in a manner of minutes.
I write these words in the midst
of a struggle between my spirit
and the pain engulfing my head,
hands holding the skull together,
press on throbbing temples,
eyes closed shut – spinning
across the empty room, the
room moves, upside down, left
becomes right, light becomes
fuzzy darkness and I fell into
a heap.
There are answers out there
to these questions, there are
answers out there, that I have
previously known, to questions
I have not yet asked
In the lowest elevations the sun is not
directly seen, but we see the light
as a guide, a marker, that we placed there.
