the beginning

Poem – Return

Returning to the fields
where it all started
so many years ago.

It was here I decided
which path I would take
and to never look back,

even when the sun falls
and the fields are obscured
with shadows and mist.

Poem – Beginning of a Season in Hell

I am petrified,
The walls surrounding me
Reaching towards Heaven and Hell

Thoughts consumed,
Turn towards the past
What I had and lost and what I gave up

I see her image,
Like I remember
Her warm touch,
Her warm tears upon my cheek

A deep voice to protect me
Further back I travel to main
Beige house, apple tree out back
Familiar faces, voices
I feel secure, safe

Fast forward 4 years of my life
Your smile my savior
Your lies my death
Your purging our death

Back again I go
Memories becoming clearer
The onslaught beginning
That day burned into my mind,
My soul
My heart forced to bleed,
The decision made,
Too late to change

I let you go before
You had a chance
Your breath tiny
Your limbs frail

Heart in my palm
Butterfly wings slowly
Pushing and pulling
Circulation

Why do you haunt the thoughts
I cannot control

Years pass, not enough time to heal
Daily struggle
To keep my sanity
The tears always there,
Waiting to run

You above,
Peering down
Watching my moves
Watching my heart bleed
Will there ever be another chance?