Turning 38

I recently turned 38 and life, of course, deviated from the one set in stone paths, the direction at that time I knew was it, I knew was my only way. I am not complaining or disrespecting the station I find myself within. Despite vowing to never remarry, I subconsciously and consciously find myself living with the perfect woman for me and I write these words while Leroy lays at my feet, sound asleep. As I have aged physically, I find more time is spent in reflection, digging back to my roots, looking for inspiration, looking for who I am.

Like everyone, many unexpected events occurred altering the path, presenting new choices and options for going forward. At times, thoughts of retreat permeated the mind and each day.

Through all of the setbacks (divorce, grandfather’s passing, mother’s battle with cancer, brother, personal battles and demons), desperation and coming to the tipping point of throwing hands into the air and yelling “I am lost”, “I do not have any more answers”, I have persevered by people held close and one engrained, undeniable purpose: writing.

Even this essence of myself wavers in and out of dark and light, which in itself powers words and direction. Without the purpose, without the outlet to allow the steam boiling and building inside I would not have survived the deep flooded valleys. By this statement alone, I know my path from here and the purpose handed to me through the universe.

I think about people I have met and loved, and where they are today. Time has created gaps, ridge lines, and valleys. I lament time slipping through open fingers and my inability to close the fist, my inaction allowing things to pass and spill upon the barren ground. I will right (write) these wrongs.

12 responses to “Turning 38”

  1. I want to thank you for sharing this with the world. We have come a long way and I hope we have many more paths to travel together. I have learned much from you and hope that I have given to you as much as you have given to me. We may have stumbled and not been sure at times however, I know with all my heart….it has all been worth it!

    You see the goodness in me when others have found fault, I appreciate you and love you!

  2. I just recently turned 39, so this emotion hit close to home for me. Though I have had different challenges in my life, I am amazed at the similarities two strangers can have. So close at our this stage in our life without knowing one another. Your message was very well written and deeply impactful. Keep writing brother!

  3. Such a sincere and wonderful expression from you William. Thank you for sharing a bit of your world today. The writing is obviously your passion, and I wish for you continued growth and peace through it. May this 38th year ahead bring you all of life’s blessings. RL

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