05. Reflections

sitting atop a hill
overlooking downtown,
headlights quietly pass as
the winds bring hope
placate the voices
what is left.

stars race across the sky
the kaleidoscope pinpoints flicker.

what is this angst
washing over me
under the falling sun?

thoughts waver, on the brink of…

the unnamed ghost deep within
a fading spirit searching purgatory
a resolve to survive this life
the undying yearn to escape
the dark alley breathes static life
wavering in and of reality
lights flash red and yellow
reflect off the dirty stagnant water
people walk through grime and muck
do they feel lost or have they forgotten
the society that forgot them
this city within the city
took them in regardless of
history, the story defining their
actions and thoughts,
this city within the city
hidden, stymied
instincts or desperate hopelessness
guide each fracture.

a deliberate dance under the moon
arms draped over one another
shadows play in the wheat grass
hidden voices speak until
they fade into the night
that night fades within
before the clouds take away the moon.

I am me, who made you
and I must escape
the chains around my arms and neck
the shackles around my legs
a slow death by suffocation and immobility.

and within the desert sands
each grain burns my fingertips
the sensation flows
the resolve strengthens.

and the mountain pass
is obstructed with snow and ice
the resolve becomes potent
and explosive.

I must run with light feet through
the open fields
the marathon taking me west
across mountain and desert.

I must see with my own eyes the
billion year gifts, the truth
that what I am haunted by
is the universe, is ancient and ingrained
is awareness
and this awareness I will find,
take hold, and swallow.

Only then will there be truth.

Only then will I become nothing.