Part 2: Chapter 5 – Untitled Misery

Chapter 5 of “The Proven Life”


I am sorry
I did not know her name
My mind blank
When it opened
There she was, lying before, a pool of maroon below
Face unfamiliar at first
Pieces slowly falling into place
I saw her at the playground
She looked at me funny,
Whispered words to her friends I could not hear
I made a silent promise to find her
Find where she lived

I am 13
My soul is 418

I followed her home
From school that day
She lived not far from me
I remember the flowing red dress
That shimmered in the sun
I walked briskly behind
Closing the gap

I looked down, 12” metal pipe
Searing cold in my hand
It was not mine
I owned this not

My ears began to hum
Like a hard downpour
In a hurricane
Louder, louder
Deafening
My mind taking over
My soul shrinking

Controlling my limbs
A puppet in masters hands
I shut my eyes,
Try to block the sun out
Then…
Everything became calm, still, quiet, pain gone
Eyes open

Then I heard it
I heard them
The raspy voices so clear

“Swing the pipe…
End her pain…”

I stopped,
Trying to find whose voice I heard
She did not stop and turn
I heard them again

The raspy voices so clear

“Swing the pipe…
End her pain…”

The start of a marathon
I found myself running, faster
Towards her
I looked down, my arms gaining strength
The pipe getting closer to her head
Life oozing
Coloring the dress
My hands, no longer frozen
Scorched maroon, white pain

Cold sweat engulfing my face
Heart going through my chest
Blood boiling
Bolting upright in bed
I don’t know where I am
Glancing around the room
From wall to wall
Surroundings unfamiliar

Pounding head
My arms unable to move
Blood returning to my limbs

Confused, not sure what got me here

Flashes in my mind, a gondola , a katana

Joline!

A perfect, angelic face
I will never forget
A glow, silky smooth
Soft as milk
Where have I seen her before?

Dark parted trail through my room, a living Red Sea
Through my mind
Black turning into red
Screaming souls
Limbs flailing on all sides
The screaming, hollow eyes
Mouths gaping open
Endless trail into void
Seeking flesh

2 thoughts on “Part 2: Chapter 5 – Untitled Misery

  1. Oh wow William… was really getting worried until ‘bolted upright in bed’ was read here… so intensely and wonderfully written!

    • Robyn, Thank you. I was unsure about posting this particular piece without edits, because of the violence. But I felt it really helped to move the story and tie into Joline. This series of poems really gave birth to her.

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