Returning to the fields
where it all started
so many years ago.

It was here I decided
which path I would take
and to never look back,

even when the sun falls
and the fields are obscured
with shadows and mist.

In the fractured sleep of night’s immersed
in dreams based in nothing familiar or known,
one word repeated over and over – direct.

I watched power-less as background images
of tall buildings, lattice, and cross-stitched patterns
rotated and approached my view with ever increasing velocity.

At the end (or beginning) of a tunnel
bathed in wavering light with no sound
a shadow slowly approached.

The sides of the tunnel began to
move and rotate, grey lines
and intricate patterns covered everything.

and I briefly lost sight of the shadow
until something pushed me through
and I landed on the empty fields

near the forest where we first
met in ancient times and you
silently spoke directly to me.

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Across the black sea I see nothing with these eyes
and I stand here not as I see myself
and not as I desire to be
but as the being accepted by the water.

Across the see littered
with fragments I am
but a whisper cast from
mountain tops.

I hope with every last
shred of this being
that you are out there
waiting with patience

for my return from one
field and when I land
in the black waters I am
able to swim now free of myself.

With the lazy moon
early in the morning

I opened the door into
the waiting darkness

and startled my shadow
hiding near the trees.

I ran toward where I thought it was
and dove trying to catch a piece

a fragment of this image of
who I thought I was.

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(1)

What defines the human spirit
when we are pushed to our limits?

What ghosts are we chasing through
day and night?

Are ghosts chasing us through
valleys and up mountains?

(2)

I see the moon in a dewdrop,
does the moon see me?

I look across the river
as the black wolf approaches.

I look uphill
as the shadows swallow the trees

(3)

I drink the sunset’s last light
and as the sky dissappears

and the cold air settles,
I am content in my place here

and I let go of remaining thoughts
making room for ten thousand lanterns.

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Scattered dreams forgotten at first light.
A vague cloud follows.

Trees bend at impossible angles
the air wavers and shimmers.

I walk the dirt path worn
from ancestors and ancient methods.

Morning light through the tree canopy
casts fragments across my face.

I cannot help but feel I am being
followed by a shadow of my former self.

I see you in fragmented dreams
images from a life I have not lived

unfocused faces and voices
mouthing words I cannot hear.

I see images on billboards
and movie vignettes where

touching moments break through
the wall 20-years old.

I see you in rare dreams
sourced from beyond this life,

beyond the choice I made
and the weight I have carried.

If you are out there behind
the trees the shadow

following me through the
forest as the sun sets

please let me know,
please let me know.