Pushing through the pain we see the end.
Perhaps we see the next milestone that offers a glimmer of hope.
A sign post that we are almost there and on the other side across the chasm we are a better version of ourselves individually and collectively ready for the next challenge in this time on earth.
Personal introspection and new music to get through the day from my friend at The Day on Fire.
(1)
There, there I see you –
walking along the shoreline,
the sun is your companion.
The ocean wind is relentless
you continue walking into the headwind.
I see pieces of you fall away and in turn
the fragments begin following you.
I close my eyes and see a version of you
the you of another time.
Each fragment vibrates, wavelengths fluctuate
at times they balance in a peaceful state of radiant light.
(2)
The wind grows stronger with each step,
pieces of various sizes and color are removed
from the outer shell – I am exposed to what’s
beneath the surface and the way daylight
scatters, and I am in love with
you that I see and the prism of colors
I respect the turmoil you endure
to break through the layers and find you.
(3)
Hesitation at the final obstacle where the land
falls to the sea and there is no known path
across the valley. A pause as the wind relents,
its power stacking as pebbles and stones
are caught in the vortex, the vibration of
streams, the debris circling, waiting.
From this distance, I do not know what she may be
looking at or for, what her intentions are, or
where she will next step. I see the wind
growing impatient,
time passes and with reluctance, unease or
confusion from this new reality, you
raise arms and gather fragments from a distance
and place them one by one before you, creating
a multi-colored, vibrating bridge
over the raging river
violently tossing fallen trees and
icebergs at canyon walls.
(4)
The bits of fragment you chose to keep
lead to a new level of consciousness.
Others fell into the river and others
were discarded to the sea.
On the other side you are able to move
more freely, as burdens and weight
have been lifted, the mind more aware
of the being it communicates with.
The stone path you now stand upon
leads north into the mountains and
through the path you will arrive
at the ancient forest where I have been waiting.
Stripped to our raw selves
shed of armor and protection.
Chaos and denial slowly
replaced by thought and cooperation.
The defining characteristics of humans,
what makes us unique and capable,
surfaces through the darkness
and with glorious irony
what forces us apart
brings humanity closer together.
The calm water reflects the cold
morning sky coming on-line.
Pierced by raven calls and lulled
by rolling waves.
Fragments I carried here
begin to slip into the water.
The cold and water I have come to embrace
as years have passed, has not changed.
The same stones mark the way to an ice covered shoreline
and that tree has become a beacon and marker.
I don’t know if this is home,
I don’t know if the water remembers me.
I take comfort in the thought, that when I pass
some fragment of myself will still linger,
riding waves or falling into the depths,
merging with the sea.
So I release my doubt and stop silent objections
knowing the sea will care for me.
The dirt.
The stars.
Nearing midnight in late summer.
A glimpse, fleeting thought, of that person I was.
Standing on the patio lost in the sky, wondering what else is there.
Feeling I did not fit here, did not belong, hoping there is a home out there, beyond the stars.
As 2020 emerges from the cold waters, we take stock of the previous year. It feels as though time is speeding up, the older we get. The truth is, we are squeezing more from each moment, reaching out beyond ourselves, enriching the experiences we have, and walking more in-step with the world.
Looking back, I see how the path brought me here, which at the time was clouded with doubt and unknowns. And I survived, a bit greyer, but also wiser and more aware of what I can accomplish.
As with each day, I hope to begin and continue the new year, being a better person than I was the previous. To continue pushing beyond the limits and self-imposed boundaries, and reach out of my comfort zones, both for my own growth, but also to leave the world a better place than when I arrived.
So we begin 2020 slowly watching the first sunrise reach across the lake and make our plans going forward, letting go of the burdens and baggage of the past, just keeping the experiences and fragments that built the person we are today.
Here is a link to an article that examines the “drip” technique form a scientific perspective.
“Pollock avoided hydrodynamic instabilities to paint with his dripping technique”
https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0223706
