Poem leftovers
As I debated within myself whether or not the “Untitled” poem should be left as is, or delve further into the mind, and what is being sought, I tossed these stanzas around. These are lost in the ether now, searching for a new poem to hopefully pick them up.
Other Lines
(2)
Descending fully into the valley
this was not the terrain I imagined.
Grey and black debris from mountain tops
craggy, sharp protrusions; thorns and devils club
I had to step with care
my bare feet and naked body.
I still hear the medicine man
not a voice in any language I understood
but guttural, merging and transforming
into a vibration.
Allowing and giving in to the “voice”
I let go of the pain with
each step and slow the loss of blood
I have come to accept for now.
This is my path.
I choose to be here.
(3)
I hear music from far reaches
a distant piano, it is all I
hear, nothing moves, as the stream
passed days ago, absent of wind
the valley is calm, still, silent
passive, inviting – lulled into
a current sleep my eyes close
and I see things I did not see.
too emotional…but i like the ‘happy'(hope) ending. silver lining on every dark cloud
Thank you for the comment. You raise a very good point. Probably too much of what I am feeling, not leaving much for the reader to pull something out. It helped to frame and write the good stuff.
Yes, they are telling a story. Alone or together. They’re quite moving to me.
Thank you you Jeannie. For you, what is the story being told?
William for me, when I read the first one I felt utter desolation for a love that was lost–searching for answers, finding none; the second one, the necessary grieving of letting out the pain and hurt of something precious lost; the third, coming to terms with your new reality and finding a kind of peace…an awakening.
That’s how they struck me, which may be nothing close to what you had going on inside when you wrote it.
Thank you for sharing your insight and what you took away from them. I really like this interaction, and learning how others read poems, and what feelings or emotions they may elicit.
I hope they can find a home… some powerful work here William. Seems to tell a story in many ways.
Thank you Robyn. The way these things are written and disorganized mirrors what’s in my head. Just need to weed through and find something worth expanding upon. With a bit more time and simmering, I will pick up a couple of stanzas and run with it.
I have faith William! 🙂