Poem leftovers


As I debated within myself whether or not the “Untitled” poem should be left as is, or delve further into the mind, and what is being sought, I tossed these stanzas around.  These are lost in the ether now, searching for a new poem to hopefully pick them up.


Other Lines

(2)

Descending fully into the valley
this was not the terrain I imagined.

Grey and black debris from mountain tops
craggy, sharp protrusions; thorns and devils club

I had to step with care
my bare feet and naked body.

I still hear the medicine man
not a voice in any language I understood

but guttural, merging and transforming
into a vibration.

Allowing and giving in to the “voice”
I let go of the pain with

each step and slow the loss of blood
I have come to accept for now.

This is my path.
I choose to be here.

(3)

I hear music from far reaches
a distant piano, it is all I

hear, nothing moves, as the stream
passed days ago, absent of wind

the valley is calm, still, silent
passive, inviting – lulled into

a current sleep my eyes close
and I see things I did not see.

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9 responses to “Poem leftovers”

    • Thank you for the comment. You raise a very good point. Probably too much of what I am feeling, not leaving much for the reader to pull something out. It helped to frame and write the good stuff.

      • William for me, when I read the first one I felt utter desolation for a love that was lost–searching for answers, finding none; the second one, the necessary grieving of letting out the pain and hurt of something precious lost; the third, coming to terms with your new reality and finding a kind of peace…an awakening.

        That’s how they struck me, which may be nothing close to what you had going on inside when you wrote it.

        • Thank you for sharing your insight and what you took away from them. I really like this interaction, and learning how others read poems, and what feelings or emotions they may elicit.

    • Thank you Robyn. The way these things are written and disorganized mirrors what’s in my head. Just need to weed through and find something worth expanding upon. With a bit more time and simmering, I will pick up a couple of stanzas and run with it.

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