A Slow Start to 2020

As 2020 emerges from the cold waters, we take stock of the previous year. It feels as though time is speeding up, the older we get. The truth is, we are squeezing more from each moment, reaching out beyond ourselves, enriching the experiences we have, and walking more in-step with the world.

Looking back, I see how the path brought me here, which at the time was clouded with doubt and unknowns. And I survived, a bit greyer, but also wiser and more aware of what I can accomplish.

As with each day, I hope to begin and continue the new year, being a better person than I was the previous. To continue pushing beyond the limits and self-imposed boundaries, and reach out of my comfort zones, both for my own growth, but also to leave the world a better place than when I arrived.

So we begin 2020 slowly watching the first sunrise reach across the lake and make our plans going forward, letting go of the burdens and baggage of the past, just keeping the experiences and fragments that built the person we are today.

Stepping Into New Light

Three-months have passed since I stepped into a new day, awash in Minnesota morning light. This would be the first day free of layered obligations and responsibilities. Stepping into that light, I became acutely aware that the road ahead was not straight and well-lit; was no longer paved, marked with signage, and known so well that I could navigate with eyes closed.

No, that road no longer existed, that chapter has been closed. Now, I look out from the patio and an empty field begins to emerge from the light. Well, the field is free of obstacles, burdens, emotional baggage – there are no walls, no pitfalls. The field is strewn with fragments of glowing cubes shards of various sizes. And there is no sound, they emit no sounds I can hear.

These fragments are however familiar.

I left the previous life with a glimpse of an idea, a plan. Something out there reassured me that the time is right, the time is now. Everything in the past of this life, leading to now, has been in preparation of the next step, the words, sentences, and paragraphs, preparing the next chapter.

Each day arrives with less uncertainty. Fragments vibrate closer to others and become more familiar as the person I will be going forward reassembles with only what is needed. Over time I will become whole and ready to devour the next chapter.

For now I will turn the first page.

Copyright american artist Phillip K. Smith III, Indio, California,

The Next Chapter

Passing through the pages of life,
some chapters are thin and we quickly move,
some consume years and decades.

After decades in one chapter,
it is natural to wonder, is it really over?
Is it time to move on?

Moments of doubt creep in,
pulling with strength – an attempt
to drag you back into the previous chapter.

In these struggles mired in cold wind and rain
outer layers and no longer needed fragments are washed away,
leaving the raw self free of burden with clear vision.

Only then do the fields open.
Only then can we move forward.
Only then can we truly start the next chapter.

Has the Time Arrived?

Living in the present with thoughts and energy
firmly cast into the past with vivid memories.

Each sunrise across the morning sea,
each moment spent here is with your memory.

So many years have passed,
it feels like yesterday,

the heart is heavy,
the void still waiting.

When the sky turns to gold and the path
I have spent years waiting for on the shoreline

finally appears all my worries and burdens disappear
and I know you are out there waiting.

Poem – Saman

The black silent outline
moves closer as time passes,
time not from here.

The empty sky vibrates
as a thin line emerges
from the horizon’s depths.

I walk into the water folding with the sky
and feel no cold, no pain, no burden
as the golden light seeps into my heart.

Upon the ancient boulders scattered
from the dawn of time
she sits lightly with no words.

I looked down and away
but felt warmth and safety
as the waters continued to rise.

Poem – The Bridge

Years ago,
after the moment passed, one of those
life changing decisions that, somewhere inside,
I know altered my chemistry, my core and will
reside with me the rest of this life, and each that may follow,
I said to myself, years from now, will I forgive, regret, or forget?

Now I am here today, looking back on 40 years
it took to arrive and I run across the river flowing swift,
I climb the rocks from the shoreline, and I stop at the bridge.

Years from now will I still be standing here again
running circles always coming back to the same place

or will I finally make it across to the other side,
to whatever is waiting?

bridge path straight wooden

Photo by Gratisography on Pexels.com

Poem – Driving North

Driving north this May
an early summer and the windows are closed
as the heat presses against skin
and our eyes squint.

Green farmlands with waiting tractors,
fields holding grazing cows,
red barns and white houses,
silos scattered across the horizon.

What is this life outside the window
from another time long gone
except memories anchored in places
my feet have not walked upon?

Becoming tired from the heat
yet restless from the nostalgia
I take your hand and am thankful for now
while searching for my past.

Poem – Witnessing Time


Deep into the frozen land we venture.

Holding hands with no words spoken.

Miles away mountain shadows grow as the sun appears.

Like old film stuttering and jumping we desperately hold to this place to this moment.

Fading between gusts of wind we taste the other side the other world the other dimension some might say.

Existing between worlds we see what will come or what has passed.

 

Copyright 2013 (c) William Ricci

Poem – Transitions

Through our normal daily lives, time consistently pushes us forward toward goals and moments we may or may not be aware of. We are on this train, sometimes without a conductor, but most times with no way to pause or exit that train. While in some regards, the choosing of what defines our view of time is arbitrary, it is rooted in science, astronomy, and universal constants, motions, and laws of gravity.

Imagine what our lives would look like, how much more hurried we would be, if the earth spun around the sun in half the time?

As the sun sets on the last day of our definition of a year, it does give a mental pause, a time for reflection, and a chance to look ahead at another 1-year block of time. The transition grants a reasonable chunk of time to work with, to plan, and set individual goals as I strive to wake up tomorrow better than I was today.

As the sun falls behind the forest and its last rays scatter through bare branches, I begin to accept this as an opportunity to start again, being with a clean slate so to speak, and visit the fields.

Wind-swept and holding tree shadows, the fields are silent and calm and with no judgment they accept my presence as I prepare to transition to the new year.



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