I have not been more at peace
nor been closer to my true being
than our time here, in the wilds
of Alaska, surrounded by mountains,
glaciers, and each other.
Returning from an Alaskan retreat, I am different.
Nothing earth shattering and most likely not noticeable to most people I come into contact with.
Back home, the sky has not changed, the trees stand tall against the summer blue, and the grass is coarse from overdue rain.
Obligations, bills, demands, job – waited at the front door for the week to pass and my return.
Emails arrive in the overflowing inbox and the phone still rings.
Lines form at registers waiting for morning coffee.
But something is different.
I left here in a chaotic state, doubts of the pathway I built and have stayed on, despite the uncertainty. I was clinging to the next day or week, hoping that it will be different from today, that if I just hold-out, the answers and next direction will reveal themselves. I had become complacent and stagnant.
How many years was I going to relinquish control of my path to outside forces with unknown names and unfamiliar faces?
Something is different now that my feet are on the ground here. What happened up there in the Alaskan wilderness?
I walk to the backyard and stand on the cement patio with coffee. The morning sun rays begin to touch treetops and the golden glow is stark against the deep blue sky. But I do not see this and I do not hear the ravens playing in the fields beyond the hill.
Lost in some thought I cannot place, my eyes close and I am back in Alaska with a river stretching to the base of distant mountains. I am flying above glaciers and standing so close I can taste the cold. I am riding an ATV through forest and open fields until I stand overlooking the river valley and and lose myself to the silence, the beauty, and the immense landscape.
That is what I see now that I am back home. Now that I have returned from an Alaskan retreat, the burdens I left here with have been replaced with nature, tangible things I can see, touch, smell, taste. Things that will my mind and push everything else out. In return for this gift, I am more silent, thinking before I speak, and keeping more calm and control of myself as I attempt to cope with the present and push for a different future that I create.
On 2017-08-08, we stepped out of comfort zones and took to the air for a flightseeing tour with Alaska Air Service, based in Anchorage, AK. Our pilot was Bill who is also the owner. We flew into the Chugach Mountains and were treated to awesome views of the Knik and Colony Glaciers. Also included was a gravel landing with a hike to get closer to the water, glacier, and icebergs.
- Knik Glacier / Chugach Mountains Flightseeing Tour
We spent August 7th with Glacier View ATV Tours at mile 99 of Glenn Highway in Glacier View, Alaska. We were fortunate to have the trails to ourselves and be guided by Tommy, one of the owners, for 2.5 hours of ATV riding through open fields, forest and to the top with a view over the Matanuska valley. The weather was perfect for trailing riding with temperatures in the 60’s, no rain, and no wind.
If you are in Alaska and looking for a fun way to spend time in the Alaskan wilderness, these is a great outfit to go with. Tommy is down to earth, easy to talk with, and provides a lot of knowledge and history of the area. One detail we were impressed with is Tommy stopped a few times to pick-up trash near the trail.
Sometimes we feel confined. Sometimes we feel trapped. For thousands of years we wait in suspension to be set free. We wait for the moment when we will drop into the beautiful silty water. We have been forged together so tightly we have forgotten what being alone means; yet we yearn for it.
We have learned to describe our independence, but only in relation to the thick ice blocks and crevices with which we envelope. What is freedom when we have only our frozen bonds and iced seals to define it? Is the end or the beginning in sight? Life outside the icicles we cling to is drawing near. We have been trapped inside this glacier for so long that we have forgotten the solitary lifestyle. Will we ever be fully alone? Will the feeling of separateness ever occur? Will we be alone when we melt away from our gelid…
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